How Can I Help Myself Cope with Cancer?

People appreciate the care they receive from their cancer care team, but most people also want to be active participants in dealing with their illness. Dr. Jimmie Holland, after 25 years of caring for patients at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, offers some suggestions for coping that deal with attitudes and beliefs. They are divided into those attitudes and beliefs that clearly are helpful (the Do’s) and those that are harmful (the Don’ts).

Do…

• Rely on ways of coping that have helped you solve problems and crises in the past. If it helps to talk to someone else, find someone you feel comfortable talking with about your illness. If you prefer not to talk about your illness, you may find relaxation, meditation, listening to music, or similar approaches helpful. Use whatever has worked for you before, but if what you’re doing isn’t working, find a different way to cope.
• Deal with cancer “one day at a time” and leave worries about the future behind. The task of coping with cancer seems less overwhelming when you break it up into more manageable pieces. This also allows you to focus on getting the most out of each day in spite of your illness.
• Use support and self-help groups if they make you feel better. Leave a group that makes you feel worse.
• Find a doctor who lets you ask all your questions. Make sure there is a feeling of mutual respect and trust. Insist on being a partner with him or her in your treatment. Ask what side effects you should expect and be prepared for them. Anticipating problems often makes it easier to handle them if and when they occur.
• Explore spiritual and religious beliefs and practices such as prayer that may have helped you in the past. If you don’t consider yourself a religious or spiritual person, get support from any belief systems that you value. They may comfort you and even help you find meaning in the experience of your illness.
• Keep a personal notebook of all your dates for treatments, laboratory values, x-rays, scans, symptoms, side effects, medicines, and general medical status. Information about your cancer and treatment is important to have and no one can keep it better than you.
• Keep a journal if you find a need to express yourself without holding back. It can help you process the journey and you will be amazed by how helpful and therapeutic it may be.

Don’t…

• Believe the old saying that “cancer equals death.” More than 9 million Americans are alive today who have had cancer.
• Blame yourself for causing your cancer. There is no scientific proof linking specific personalities, emotional states, or painful life events to the development of cancer. Even if you may have raised your cancer risk through smoking or some other habit, there is no benefit from blaming yourself or beating yourself up.
• Feel guilty if you can’t keep a positive attitude all the time, especially when you don’t feel well. Low periods will come, no matter how great you are at coping. There is no evidence that those times have a bad effect on your health or tumor growth. If they become frequent or severe, though, seek help.
• Suffer in silence. Don’t try to go it alone — get support from your best resources — your family, friends, doctor, clergy, or those you meet in support groups who understand what you are going through.
• Be embarrassed to seek counseling with a mental health expert for anxiety or depression that interferes with your sleep, eating, ability to concentrate, or ability to function normally, if you feel your distress is getting out of control.
• Keep your worries or symptoms (physical or psychological) secret from the person closest to you. Ask this person to come with you to visits to the doctor when treatments are to be discussed. Research shows that people don’t often hear or absorb information when they are very anxious. A close friend or family member can help you interpret what was said. On a practical level, your friend or loved one can also help you get home from a doctor’s visit or medical test.
• Abandon your regular treatment for another alternative treatment. Instead, use only those that do no harm and can be safely used along with your regular treatment as a complementary therapy to improve your quality of life. Be sure to tell your doctor which treatments you are using with the medical treatment, since some should not be used during chemotherapy or radiation treatments. Discuss the benefits and risks of any alternative or complementary treatments with someone you can trust who can assess them more objectively than you may be able to when you are under stress. Psychological, social, and spiritual approaches are helpful and safe, and doctors encourage their use today.
  

EVALUATING YOUR DISTRESS

OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER

For more information on these treatment guidelines, or on cancer in general, call the NCCN at 1-888-909-NCCN or the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345. Or you can visit these organizations’ web sites at www.cancer.org (ACS) and www.nccn.org (NCCN).

© 2005 by the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) and the American Cancer Society (ACS). All rights reserved. The information herein may not be reproduced in any form for commercial purposes or downloaded and stored in any information-retrieval system without the express written permission of the NCCN and the ACS. Single copies of each page may be printed out for personal, noncommercial use only.