Support from Others

Any person with a life-threatening illness has more need for other people in their lives to help them deal with their illness. These people provide what is called "social support." Studies have shown that patients who have social support are better able to adjust to their situation.

Support can come from family and friends, members of a church, health professionals, support groups, or community members. Asking for support is one way you can take control of your situation.

If you do not have support from friends and family, seek it elsewhere. There are others in your community who need your companionship as much as you need theirs. The mutual support of others with cancer might also be a source of comfort. Check with your health care team or member of the clergy for resources in your community.

Support Programs and Groups

A support group can be a powerful tool for both patients and families. Talking with others who are in situations like yours can help ease loneliness. And you can also get useful ideas from others that might help you.

Support programs exist in a variety of formats and include individual or group counseling and support groups. Some groups are formal and focus on learning about cancer or dealing with feelings. Others are informal and social. Some groups are composed only of people with cancer or only caregivers while others include spouses, family members, or friends. Other groups focus on specific types of cancer or stages of disease. The length of time groups meet can range from a certain number of weeks to an ongoing program. Some programs have closed membership and others are open to new, drop-in members.

For those who cannot attend meetings or appointments, counseling over the telephone is offered by some organizations. Some people may find online support groups helpful because they like the anonymity. It may be comforting to chat with other people facing similar situations. Chat rooms and message boards, however, are not the best source of cancer information, especially if they are not monitored by trained professionals or experts.

Regardless of the group's structure, participants should feel comfortable in the group and with the facilitator. If you have any fears or uncertainties before entering a group, feel free to discuss them with the group's facilitator.

Support in any form allows you to discuss your feelings and develop coping skills. Studies have found that support group participants have an improved quality of life, including sleep and appetite.

People with cancer often state that lack of communication in their families is a problem. Changes in responsibilities can cause resentment and anxiety. Through family counseling, families learn to deal with changes within the family and help members discuss their feelings more comfortably. Some family members may not feel comfortable openly discussing their feelings.

Religious or Spiritual Support

Religion can be a source of strength. Some find new faith during a cancer experience. Others find their cancer strengthens their existing faith or their faith provides newfound strength. Those who have never had strong religious beliefs may not feel an urge to turn to religion. A minister, rabbi, other leader of your faith, or a trained pastoral counselor can help you identify your spiritual needs and find spiritual support. Some members of the clergy are specially trained to help them minister effectively to people with cancer and their families. Some hospitals have chaplains available at their facility.

Ask your health care team about the resources available at your hospital. You can also contact your American Cancer Society to find out about sources of support that are available in your community.

Family Issues

Advanced cancer changes the way family members relate to one another. Typically, families that solve conflict well and are supportive of each other do best in dealing with a loved one's cancer.

Roles within the family will change. How family members take on new tasks and fill in for the patient will affect how they adjust to losing that person.

For the person with cancer, the changes in family roles can trigger the grief that comes with loss. For example, a woman who is bedridden may be anguished about not being the wife and mother she once was. Understanding this and helping the patient to find ways to still contribute and feel included may benefit both the patient and the family.

Caregiver Support

The people helping to care for the person with cancer must also take care of themselves. This means taking time to do things one enjoys and taking care of their own health care needs.

ADVANCE CARE PLANNING

FACING DEATH

For more information on these treatment guidelines, or on cancer in general, call the NCCN at 1-888-909-NCCN or the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345. Or you can visit these organizations’ web sites at www.cancer.org (ACS) and www.nccn.org (NCCN).

© 2004 by the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) and the American Cancer Society (ACS). All rights reserved. The information herein may not be reproduced in any form for commercial purposes or downloaded and stored in any information-retrieval system without the express written permission of the NCCN and the ACS. Single copies of each page may be printed out for personal, noncommercial use only.